Create in me a Clean Heart

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Friday Felicities 8/15/08 August 15, 2008

Filed under: Happiness,motherhood — acleanheart @ 3:11 pm

  • A week of showing Jesus to children
  • God’s guidance and comfort
  • Remembering my Mom
  • Matthew going from a crawl to a seated position
  • Matthew trying to pull himself to standing
  • Samuel learning Geography from his cousin (he can pick out several African Countries and most continents)
  • Samuel telling me about Jesus
  • Being asked to teach a homeschool co-op class
  • Lunch with my family and my sister’s family
  • Snuggly kitty cats
  • Watching Shawn Johnson at the Olympics, there is just something about her that makes me feel proud!
  • Making a new friend

Mother’s Day 2008 May 9, 2008

Filed under: motherhood — acleanheart @ 3:47 pm

I have been thinking about Mother’s Day today and what it means to me and I decided to share a bit here about what God is speaking to my heart.

For 5 years Kevin and I tried unsuccessfully to have a baby.  For the first couple of years I went to church on Mother’s Day and watched as each mother was handed a flower and thanked for all she does.  I would go home with a hollow feeling in my heart because it hurt so badly.  I would cry for hours.  For the last 3 years of the waiting time, I skipped church on Mother’s Day.  I would go to my mom’s and celebrate her.  Each year she would give me a special mother’s day gift and say “Someday you will be a mother, this is for then.”

Then we adopted Samuel, the pain of infertility was numbed by the joy of having my little boy.  I got to celebrate my first Mother’s Day as a mother.  I bought flowers for the church to pass out to all women, not just the mother’s but all women.  I didn’t want any woman to suffer the heartbreak that I did.  I told them “Someday you will be a mother, this is for then.”

I lost my Mother in August of 2006.  My heart was again broken (sometimes still feels that way).  Last year I celebrated my first Mother’s Day without my mom.  My mother-in-law sent me a card which she signed “With Love from Your Mother in Heaven and Carol Jane, your Mother-in-Law”  That really touched me deeply.  I remembered all the Mother’s Day gifts that my mother had given me in the past and I could almost hear her saying “someday I won’t be here with you, this is for then”

This past February, I watched as Matthew’s Birthmom saw him for the very first time, she said hello and she said goodbye all in the short hour that she was with us.  I saw the love in her eyes.  I watched as she undressed him and looked him over and kissed each finger and toe, then lovingly redressed him and kissed his sweet head.  I imagined she was saying “Someday you will wonder if your birthmother loved you, this is for then”
This weekend as you celebrate Mother’s day, keep in mind that someone you love longs to have a baby but can’t, someone you love has lost their mother and is broken hearted without her and someone you love has brought a baby into this world and given the greatest gift to bring joy to another mother.  Remember them.  Thank them.  Love them.  Give them a gift or card.  But do not overlook them.